“I want you to make her pay!” shouted my mother. Ugh, here she goes again, all mad because some girl is supposedly more beautiful than she is. Women can be crazy like that. She called me in here to ask, no, command me to ruin this poor girl’s life. Oh! I should probably introduce myself, I am Cupid. You know…the God of Love? And my mother is Venus. So now you see how crazy it is that she’s worried this girl is more beautiful than her because she is the Goddess of Beauty! How can anyone be more beautiful than the Goddess of Beauty! That’s just crazy! However, my mother asked me to do something so I shall do what I can for her.
Cupid descended down from the clouds with a few great bursts from his angel-like golden wings and perched on a tree outside of the girl’s house. The girl he was looking for was inside her room sobbing uncontrollably about how unhappy she was.
Oh my Jove! This girl is beautiful! (Please don’t tell my mother.) I wonder why she is crying. With looks like that she shouldn’t be lonely…she should have many suitors! None that would be as fitting to her as a god…wait.
And with that thought, Cupid took out an arrow and pricked himself with it. He immediately fell more in love with the girl, whose name was Psyche. He hatched out a plan to take her as his bride. He had commanded the oracle of Apollo to tell the family that the family that in order for the girl to be happy, they must lead her to the cliff top and leave her there alone. Once her family left her on the cliff top, Cupid sent Zephyr to carefully bring her from the cliff top into the beautiful, flower-filled valley below. She looked up and saw the gorgeous divine palace and heard voices that led her inside. Cupid chose to hide in the shadows, but spoke sweetly to the girl he wanted to take as his wife.
She is so scared. Maybe I should say something to her to help calm her down.
“Dearest girl, the servants here cannot be seen, but are merely voices. Do not fear, though, because they will cater to your every whim. Go on to the chambers just beyond this door and sleep. Once you have your strength you can bathe and then eat all that you desire.”
And with that Psyche went into the other room and slept. When she awoke she went and bathed and had a grand feast. After she ate, she retired to the bed chambers. Once she was in bed, Cupid slipped under the covers beside her.
"Dear Psyche, do not be alarmed. I have come to take you as my wife, for I will be the most loving of husbands. Please have me, darling..."
Psyche was so moved by the speech of the unknown God that she of course said yes and after many trials, mishaps, and clashes with Venus, Jove made her the Goddess of Soul and she and Cupid lived happily ever after.
Author's note: The story I chose to write over is Apuleius's Cupid and Psyche. I took this story and made it from Cupid's point of view in some parts and wrote it from an outside point of view to help further along the plot a little quicker. The original story is written kind of from Psyche's side of things and I did not think it did a great job explaining why Cupid chose to defy his mother's orders, so I tried to include that in my version. I think it is very important to include that detail. I felt it really added a depth to the story that the original was missing. The mother/son relationship has always been very intriguing to me because even though they love their mothers, they still are defiant boys who do things that go against their parents' wishes. I really enjoyed this entire story and I recommend it to whoever is looking for a nice and interesting classical read! It is a lot longer than what I wrote here and the second half of the story(I wrote on the first) has a lot of action and excitement! I created the title "Heart and Soul" based on the fact that Cupid is considered the Roman God of Love and Psyche is the Roman Goddess of Soul.
Bibliography: Apuleius's Cupid and Psyche
Your opening for this story was great! The competition between women is something that has definitely not abated since the time when these classics were originally written, and I love that you drew attention to that. I also think you perfectly captured how most men feel about women freaking out because they perceive other women to be more beautiful than them—the idea of a gorgeous girl spurting insecurity because another girl has a better nose is something that I feel baffles most guys. I also like the way you switched between first person and third person! I haven’t seen anyone else do that so far, so I enjoyed that a lot. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteHi Karisa!!
ReplyDeleteI actually wrote about Cupid and Psyche in my own week 2 storytelling assignment. I really really like that you decided to tell your story from Cupid’s point of view because he really just thrown in against his will. I love how you portrayed him as an ordinary son just trying to appease his mother’s demands. The only thing I can suggest is maybe having Cupid’s inward thoughts written in italics so the reader can easily decipher which lines are from the third person narrator and which lines are Cupid’s thoughts.
You have a very easy to read font and you broke down your story into simple paragraphs. As a reader this is very appealing because a lot of people have put their entire 300 word stories into just 3 paragraphs.
Also I love your title. That is such a clever play on the gods’ titles.
Great job and have a great semester!!
Hey really enjoyed your story! I liked the twist of Cupid plucking himself to fall in love with someone. What a neat concept! My only suggestion would be to elaborate a little more on your last paragraph to give the reader a little more closure on the conclusion of the story. I like how you made Cupid so aggressive too by having him get in her bed. It was really funny and intriguing. Keep that kind of creativity!
ReplyDeleteHi Karisa!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great retelling of the story of Cupid and Psyche! I wrote a story about this unit as well in one of the previous weeks, but I wrote it as Cupid's diary. I suppose it is kind of similar to yours in that it is in Cupid's point of view. I like that you chose to write it this way because we don't get to hear much about what Cupid thought about what was going on. I agree with Madison that switching between first and third person was a nice touch. It helped set the background to the story as well as show us Cupid's thought process quite well! My favorite parts were when Cupid was talking to himself because there is a more modern and personal feeling from the story. Like you mentioned in your author's note, I definitely agree that the original story didn't really provide a good explanation as to why Cupid went against his mother's command. Your story gave me much more insight as to why. Great job! Good luck with the rest of your portfolio!
I remember your turtle story from blog comments a couple of weeks ago! I’m happy to see it found a place in your portfolio as I really thought it was a good story when I first read it. But because of that, I decided to go ahead and read your story Heart and Soul. It really is crazy how many stories we have read focus on the theme of usurped beauty and the insecurities of people (not to mention their supposed vengefulness and revenge for those who dare be more beautiful than them). And furthermore, when did love become the end-all-be-all to happiness? I really liked how you wrote the story and how emotive it was. I also thought it was interesting how you changed perspectives and let us see into the mind of Cupid and also get a glimpse of the ongoings externally.
ReplyDeleteKarisa, I think that you did a great job with this story! I want that comment to preempt the rest of my commentary.
ReplyDeleteSo! I like the purple theme that you have going on for your blog. But personally, the gray font is a tad bit hard to read. So maybe you can change that to white or a lighter gray?
And since I had not read the original tale, the author's note was super helpful with connecting the dots! But even with having that author's note, I had a difficult time following the names in your tale. I couldn't tell at one point if you were talking about Jove or Venus. If before writing your next tale, you can go back and add in to your story who is who, then that would be great.
The varying perspectives is a great writing style, though! By using italics versus the standard font, it is easy to discern as the reader what you are trying to convey as a first person point of view or the other point of view.
Good job once again Karisa, and I am intrigued to see what else you have to write this semester.
Hi Karisa!
ReplyDeleteThis story caught my attention due to the blurb under the title in your portfolio index so I chose to read it. I love love stories so I knew I would be interested in reading this particular story! To start off, I really did enjoy reading your story. I like how you put the italics to remove the story from Cupid's point of view. It flowed well. I also like the fact that Cupid ended up falling in love with the girl his mother didn't like. I think that was a good twist! I do wonder what happened when she found out. I feel that could be a good, little, addition to the story!
Just one really small thing I wanted to point out: in the third paragraph that begins with "Oh my Jove.." the period in the "please don't tell my mother," sentence should be on the outside of the parenthesis.
Great job on the story!!
(Also, side note, love your blog theme!)
Firstly, your background and color is really fitting for this story. The perspective of telling the story in first person was also good; this gave a personal touch with the main characters. This is the first story I’ve read that had the description paragraphs and you did an excellent job with that. It was also nice that you italicized the paragraphs too to make it noticeable. Changing the point of view to the cupid was a nice change, because you still kept the core story. You instead changed how the story was viewed at.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I would say is that you could have made the paragraphs closer together. I liked how you made spaces between to but I felt like the spaces could have been closer because I was scrolling a lot. But overall I think you did an excellent job on this and this is a solid story to add to your portfolio.
Hey Karisa, The Start of your story was in my opinion a very good start to your story. This give the reader like you said I very good view of the plot and what cupid is thinking. The first person view of different characters is very interesting to me because it can totally change how you the character of a story. In this case you portray what cupid is going through and feeling when his mother gives him a command. You did a very good job showing the defiant cupid in the way you set up the story and I cannot stress more. The story itself is interesting but what really got to me was the part when cupid poked himself with an arrow. I could see why he did that and what he was thinking. I really did enjoy reading your story. You did an excellent job and am excited to keep reading more of your story.
ReplyDeleteHey, Karisa!
ReplyDeleteWow, this is a great story!
I really enjoyed the imagery you used. I like how Cupid made himself fall in love with Psyche.
Your writing style is great. Being from Cupid's point of view sometimes and from an outsider's perspective at other times made it really interesting to read and it wasn't difficult to keep track of at all. It actually kept my interest and made me want to keep reading.
I also really like your layout and the colors you used. It makes it easy to read and makes everything flow easily. The light colors of your words and the dark background are great for a computer screen. I always appreciate when people do this!
And your title-awesome! In your author's note you stated why you made that your title and it definitely makes sense and is so creative.
Overall, very wonderful job and I can't wait to read more of your stories.
I love that you made this story from Cupid's point of view. I have always enjoyed this story and really felt for Psyche, but it is great to imagine what Cupid's thoughts were through the whole thing. You did a great job with this story, I really enjoyed it and though it was very creative. Great job and good luck with the rest of the semester!
ReplyDelete